FM 2.0 AI Music? More Like CRAP Composed by Emotionless Algorithms!
Written by Paul Ripley on June 12, 2024
AI Music? More Like CRAP Composed by Emotionless Algorithms!
Right, listen up you bunch of jabronis who think a glorified calculator can replace the raw, pulsating soul of a true musician. Those articles gushing about AI composing symphonies and writing the next pop anthem? Hogwash! Drivel! The ramblings of a toaster programmed by a tone-deaf accountant!
Now, I’m not a caveman thumping a rock. Technology’s grand, but there’s a world of difference between a decent drum machine and a robot Beethoven. These AI programs, with names like “Jukebox” that could put a goth teen to sleep, are glorified copycats. They churn out music by mimicking existing styles. You want a generic power ballad? Sure, knock yourselves out. But where’s the oomph? The danger? The kind of music that makes you want to either headbang like a deranged chicken or slow dance with your grandma?
Let’s take a gander at this “cutting edge” software, shall we? You’ve got “Amper”: sounds like a brand of laxatives for over-enthusiastic gym rats. It lets you tinker with melodies and such, but with all the creative spark of a damp firework. “MuseNet” – oh, the irony! – can stitch together snippets of existing songs. Great if you fancy a nightmarish Frankenstein’s monster of a track where a polka band gets into a fistfight with a death metal crew.
Here’s the thing, folks. Music is about feeling. It’s about the sweat on a guitarist’s brow, the booming heart of a drummer, the raw emotion poured into a singer’s voice. Can an algorithm replicate the frustration of a guitarist who keeps snapping a string mid-solo? Can it capture the joy of a band finally nailing that tricky harmony after weeks of practice? No way, Jose!
Now, will AI be a nifty tool for musicians? Absolutely! Imagine a future where a drummer can use an AI assistant to craft complex fills or a producer can get AI to generate a hundred different bass lines in seconds. But as for replacing musicians altogether? Pah! That’s the day robots learn to appreciate a good air guitar solo, and frankly, that’s a day I wouldn’t want to live to see.
So, the next time someone tries to flog you a song composed by a glorified calculator, tell them to shove it! There’s nothing quite like the human touch, the blood, sweat, and maybe even a few tears that go into creating real music. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden urge to crank up some Hendrix and melt some eardrums.
Just the personal views and ramblings of Paul Ripley
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Scott On June 13, 2024 at 8:52 am
We love in a strange world, remember how Milli Vanilli where vilified for doing what every pop star now gets praised for. Any way they can suck money from kids for little to no cost is what they want.